How to not be an angry man on the Internet

There are LOTS of angry men on the Internet. They’re angry about everything from judges blocking Trump's Muslim ban, to MPs asking for a final say on the Brexit deal, to people objecting to how frequently police officers shoot unarmed people of colour. They include centrists who want everyone to stop making such a fuss about safe spaces to the alt-right actively seeking to defence white privilege.

What if you have seen the angry-sharing of Fox News or Daily Mail content along with screams of fury about what the "liberal feminazis" have done now and you don't want to be one of those people? Well, here are a few simple tips as to how you can avoid being an angry man on the Internet.

Get the basics right

First of all don't be a racist or a misogynist or spout bile about people different to you. I know this sounds simple, and I am bagging my head against the keyboard at the fact this needs to be said 2018, but don't share a Britain First meme even if you really do "support our boys" or are apoplectic about Halal meat being served in schools. Take a second to think: is the person who wrote this someone who sits by themselves in the pub muttering into their pint of Carling about how Muslamists have taken over?

Calm down

When you read something online that you don't agree with, try not to hit the "go nuclear" button as your first response. Don't see red and then decide that you must inform this young woman on Twitter of some hard truths in words that she's going to remember. Don't fly off the handle just because someone isn't overflowing with excitement at all that regained sovereignty Britain has now we voted to leave the EU.

Maybe they have a perspective that is different to yours, one that could be as valid as yours. Don't assume that the reason someone didn't find your rape joke funny is because they’re a dried up humourless bitch husk in need of a good fuck. Maybe it just wasn't funny.

It's not all about you

While we're on the subject of not finding things funny, try not to feel personally attacked by other people's opinions. If someone says "in my experience men generally do this which is thoughtless and annoying" try not to fly into a whirlwind of fury as if someone had just thrown a fresh turd in your face. People don't have opinions to make you feel personally aggrieved.

Other people's opinions are also not signs that the entire world is against you. No one is trying to put you in a gulag or create a gender inverse Handmaid's Tale. If someone makes a comment about "white people" or "men on the Internet" don't be filled with fear that you're only days away from finding out that the government has frozen your bank account.

Don't accuse everyone else of being Hitler

Speaking of dystopian societies, people who have different opinions to you aren’t Nazis intent of "shutting down discussion" so that they can blast propaganda directly onto the back of your eyeballs. Even if someone rudely disagrees with you it is probably because that person is having a bad day, or is a bit rude, or misunderstood what you said. It’s not evidence of a conspiracy of Internet liberals trying to kill free speech.

Also, don't accuse people with different opinions about gender or racial politics of creating the alt-right. Women pointing out sexual harassment or people of colour talking about police harassment didn't get Donald Trump elected or create the global resurgence of ethno-nationalism. There were a whole range of complicated economic, political and cultural factors that led to the rise of the alt-right and the person on Twitter talking about gender neutral bathrooms isn't solely responsible.

Don't use projoritives

Try not to say "all women..." Or "all African Americans..." because the end of the sentence is probably not true. Just because someone you were matched with on Tinder didn't want to have sex with you doesn't give you some great insight into all women-kind that you need to explain to feminists on the Internet. See getting the basics right above.

Listen to people

Remember that we're all human beings and we find the enormity and complexity of the world frightening. Listening to other people's points of view can help us all face this fear. If you want to be heard yourself, then listening to others is a good place to start. Few productive conversions begin with anger.

There is a person on the other end of that Twitter account or Facebook update or YouTube video, do you really want them to suffer for their thoughts? At least remember that shouting at people rarely changes their minds. If you really disagree with someone then a productive conversion is better than the online equivalent of jumping up and down on your chair, screaming at the top of your voice and then throwing your shit at someone who thinks differently to you.

“Angry old man” by Arend is licensed under CC BY 2.0