Rayner’s resignation is another unforced error from Labour

Ah, so Angela Rayner’s gone. Resigned. Over her tax affairs. A pity, really; I always liked her more than most of the government, although that’s the political equivalent of saying you prefer the taste of cardboard to asbestos. 

Still, she had that blunt, straight-talking thing going on, which made her one of the few who occasionally sounded like a real human being rather than a malfunctioning Siri. If I’m honest, I can’t quite square the image of Rayner as the People’s Champ with the reality of Rayner as Landlord #2, enjoying the spoils of a second home while presiding over a country in the grip of a housing crisis. Then, tax-dodging on top of it? Sorry love, that’s Tory cosplay.

The most frustrating part

Which is the most frustrating part: she was one of the alright ones. Yet here we are, watching Labour torch themselves with what is surely the most unforced error since Liz Truss asked if she could be trusted with the economy. I thought Starmer’s New Improved Labour™ was supposed to be boringly professional, a sort of human beige wall whose only point was that they wouldn’t spectacularly immolate themselves. Apparently not. Turns out beige burns.

Now, let’s not pretend sexism hasn’t played its predictable cameo. Spray-painting “bitch” across her home is hardly a nuanced critique of capital gains. When Tory grandees play property Jenga with their taxes, most of the outrage is confined to a stiff tut in the New Statesman letters page. But Labour keep insisting they’re different. They say, with the straight face of a man trying to sell you an “ethical vape,” that they’re held to a higher moral standard. Then they immediately trip on the shoelaces of their own hypocrisy.

Rising cynicism

This isn’t just about Rayner. It’s about what this does to the voters Labour spent the last few years desperately wooing with their centrist chardonnay-and-church-hall routine. People already think politics is a con; this just sprinkles artisanal sea salt on the cynicism. Why bother voting for Labour-lite when you can get the full-fat corruption experience from the Tories, or, for the really disillusioned, a pint of bitter and Nigel Farage’s “common sense” at Reform?

It’s not unthinkable that Labour could be cooked. History has form here: remember the French Socialists? No? Exactly. They managed to implode so completely they made Blockbuster Video look like a resilient business model. Labour could go the same way, losing votes to the left, centre, and far-right until the only people left are the ones who show up for constituency evenings where Stephen Bush addresses the members.

If that happens, I honestly think Rayner’s tax avoidance and Starmer’s freebie scandals will be part of the wreckage. People really, really hate this stuff. They smell hypocrisy faster than you can say “expenses claim,” and they’re not wrong. It’s precisely the fuel that keeps Reform ticking along nicely, rebranded racism in a Union Jack tie.

Playing into the hands of Reform

Which brings us to Starmer, who, according to senior Labour figures, has now been told to “stop making mistakes.” That’s right. After five years of leading the opposition, someone has finally cracked the code: maybe don’t deliberately set your own shoes on fire. One wonders what he was being told before this: “lean into the pratfalls, Keir, pratfalls poll well”?

The bigger truth here is that Starmer’s Labour isn’t offering anything to fix this country. No big ideas, no transformative vision. Just empty posturing with all the sincerity of a LinkedIn influencer telling you to “embrace your morning routine.” And now they can’t even manage competence or the moral high ground. It’s all farce and no future.

So yes, I’ll laugh at the shitshow. It is funny, in that bleak, end-of-empire kind of way. But while Labour are busy performing self-immolation-as-performance-art, Reform are quietly setting up the buffet for the truly disenchanted. And that’s the part where the laughter dies.